Matthew's Journal

As you may guess, this was inspired by the folksong of the same name. You can find more information about that song here.

But at least the lilacs and violets are happy!

There was also a double rainbow a while ago. :3

I've also been preparing to start a garden for the first time, pretty excited about it! I've got some fence container-things set up in my backyard, filled with fresh potting soil and some seeds ready. I've been talking to a coworker about it; apparently, tomatoes, cucumbers, and green beans are good starter plants that basically grow themselves. I also have a pack of red strawberry popcorn that I bought on a whim a year or so ago that I'm hoping will still be viable. 

To the man on the bus talking to his daughter about what color she was going to paint his nails when they got home: Good job! You get a gold star and a cookie, which you will probably share with your kid! Cookies all around, no sarcasm!

To the man in CVS playing on his phone while his wife corralled their two year old and talked to the pharmacist: Dude, if you're not gonna help, just stay home.

This tangentially connects to one of my favorite poems, which I was recently reminded of.

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Posted by George Michaelson

https://blog.apnic.net/2026/04/28/google-hits-50-ipv6/

https://blog.apnic.net/?p=100876

IPv6 has reached a major milestone, with around half of Google’s users now accessing its services over IPv6.

https://blog.apnic.net/2026/04/28/google-hits-50-ipv6/

https://blog.apnic.net/?p=100876

It has been a very long last few days. First the water problem, then putting on the ETS event over the weekend.  Fixing the water put me behind by half a day, so I spent most of Friday and Saturday in a state of panic.  Turns out that I like to at least -think- that I have prepared for an event. Fortunately I had done enough prep in the preceding weeks AND I had fabulous help.  ( Read more... )

Today's poem:

And Then It Was Less Bleak Because We Said So
by Wendy Xu

Today there has been so much talk of things exploding
into other things, so much that we all become curious, that we
all run outside into the hot streets
and hug. Romance is a grotto of eager stones
anticipating light, or a girl whose teeth
you can always see. With more sparkle and pop
is the only way to live. Your confetti tongue explodes
into acid jazz. Small typewriters
that other people keep in their eyes
click away at all our farewell parties. It is hard
to pack for the rest of your life. Someone is always
eating cold cucumber noodles. Someone will drop by later
to help dismantle some furniture. A lot can go wrong
if you sleep or think, but the trees go on waving
their broken little hands.

*

I was looking out the study window at the newly popped cherry buds waving in the evening breeze against a blue van Gogh sky when a movement down on NND's lawn caught my eye. It was a rabbit. I have no idea where it came from or, for that matter, how it survived the neighbourhood raccoons and coyotes, but there it is, nibbling the grass. Granted, there was a rabbit down at the corner two years ago, but... that was two years ago and there are a *lot* of fences between me and the corner. Ah well. A mystery for the ages.

Last week Good Neighbour Chris' cat was out on its long leash, enjoying the air after a winter of being cooped up. But it had got its leash wrapped around the water shutoff on the grassy  strip between myself and NND, and freaked out when I came to unwind him. In the process of going round and round the shutoff on an ever shortening leash, it managed to decapitate three daffodils,which are now sitting in a jar in my kitchen. The shutoff is supposed to be flush with the ground but isn't, and is supposed to be my shutoff and isn't either. Mine is under the paving stones of NND's front path. NND will be moving out in August because the owner has sold the house and I'm trying not to fret about what will move in instead. I am Old and do not like things changing around me. There will be renovations as well,  which may be minor or may be  a whole new third storey like Prof Islamic Studies had to deal with for a year and change. Must be Zen about this.

Had an ebook come in, The Hymn to Dionysus. Got two chapters in and sent it back because Bad Vibes. Nothing good can come of Dionysus even in a retelling and frankly I just don't trust Natasha Pulley to make him palatable. When They Burned the Butterfly may be oogey in its own way but it's a Singaporean oogey and I can deal with that.

Having a garden is like: nothingnothingnothing,gogogogogogo!

⌈ Secret Post #7052 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


01.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 27 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1007.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

1. The spokes on Frodo's rear wheel almost reached the point of being dangerously loose. I'm going to have to spend some quality time with the truing stand now, sigh. At least I caught it in time? Maybe?

2. I tried riding Princess TinyBike to the Empire State Museum this past Saturday, but the dyno hub is making some really horrible shrieking noises that make me think some saltwater managed to work its way into the exceptionally well-sealed cartridge bearings, sigh. You might be amazed/horrified by how far the saltwater from winter riding can work itself into things. It's really bad, really.

3. Today during Bicycling class (~10 students total):
-Bent gear in the middle of a cassette (??!!)
-Pedal fell off - no idea how that worked loose, it re-threaded back on just fine, at least (whew, not stripped).
-A second bike whereupon the rear wheel ate the derailleur, like it does.

...I definitely need to come up with a fundraising/funding scheme for general management of the Bicycling fleet. Also, the helmet-wearing resistance of this cohort is obnoxiously bad.
Was sunny and warm better than last Monday's snow flurries? Or just different?

4. Planning for a Bike Valet at Albany's annual Tulip Fest is well underway. I hope some other people sign up to help run the valet with me? I need to ply people with food and drinks, but not alcohol, at least not directly at the event itself.

For gaming purposes I want a map of a 1930s-40s Welsh town with a population large enough to support a few factories, shops, two or three schools and several churches, a hospital, town hall, a power station and gasworks, railway station, etc., and if possible have them on the map. I'd like the map to be clear and if possible not based on any real location. Above all I'd like a license or permission to publish the maps as part of an RPG, preferably VERY cheaply since this probably won't make much money.

I've come across a few sites that will generate simple areas, such as this one which can do an area of a few streets:

https://www.rolegenerator.com/en/module/streets

but it doesn't feel like they integrate well as a coherent town, and the scale is pretty random. The same site has a generator for walled towns that looks OK, but doesn't have modern infrastructure etc.

Anyone know of something aimed more towards my needs that won't break the bank?

Title: To Gather Paradise.
Author: lannamichaels
Fandom: Vorkosigan Saga
Series: Part 3 of I Dwell In Possibility
Pairing: Piotr Vorkosigan/Gregor Vorbarra, Piotr Vorkosigan/Ezar Vorbarra
Rating: R
A/N: When I wrote I Dwell In Possibility, I tried really really hard to make it Gregor/Piotr. And so I have kept at this fic since 2018, on and off, trying to make it work, so that I could announce BINGO on the fifth Vorbarra who I've had fuck Piotr. I am so proud of this bingo, I cannot even describe. The title is from I Dwell In Possibility (Poem 657) by Emily Dickinson.
Archives: Archive Of Our Own, SquidgeWorld

Summary: In a world filled with Cetagandans, Piotr supposes he can't allow himself to be perturbed by a time traveler.


( Look I once saw someone write Vorkosigan/Vorbarra and I said that's not a pairing that's a challenge )

I went to a lunchtime book talk at work today, with co-authors Aziz Abu Sarah and Maoz Inon talking about how they came to be working together towards peace in Israel (and hopefully around the world after that).

Maoz Inon told about how he was on the phone with his parents, who lived just north of the Gaza Strip, at 7:30a on October 7; they were in their safe room, and it was clear something was happening. Five minutes later, he couldn’t get through again, nor reach anyone from the community there until 4p, when he finally talked to a local, who told him his parents’ home had burned down and there were two bodies inside. He and his siblings arranged to sit shiva immediately. One of them (London based) asked the rest of the family to consider standing up for not retribution, but peace. It took days to get to the point of considering it, but they did.

Aziz Abu Sarah described growing up in Jerusalem, attending school at al-Aksah, never sure when something awful would happen. He described always going to school with an onion, because raw onion can shorten the effects of tear gas. His older brother had been arrested for throwing rocks, which he denied until tortured, and after a 10-month sentence, returned home, broken and ill, and ended up dying at just 19 years old. Aziz was 10. He avoided learning Hebrew in school, hating Israeli power, despite being required to learn it. He later realized that if he wanted to do more than wash dishes, he had to learn Hebrew, so he joined an Ulpan class where he was the only Muslim. And because the teacher saw his discomfort and made a point of treating him like another human, with dignity, he started to understand that there are people on both sides interested in peace.

They’d met briefly before October 7, enough to be FaceBorg friends, and that light connection grew into much more when Aziz reached out to Maoz offering condolences after the death of his parents. They started talking, and both had committed to working towards peace, with a goal of 2030 (!). Their organization is InterAct, and they’ve written a book together, The Future Is Peace. The talk included more details about the coalition building they’ve done (with other peace groups in Israel, meeting with Congress (2 years ago 3 senators were with them (Warren, Sanders, one other); now it’s 40), meeting with the Pope, carrying an Olympic torch together in the most recent games, etc.), and the hope that each of us will choose to work towards peace.

Thanks to either a local bookstore owner or my employer, there were free copies of the book available (I hope it’s well written), plus a ‘boarding pass’ card for “global citizen”, on flight “Hope Airlines, flight 203”, destination “Peace” which included an Arabic poem, and the English translation.

Travel Tickets

The day I’m killed,
my killer, rifling through my pockets,
will find travel tickets:
One to peace,
one to the fields and the rain,
and one
to the conscience of humankind.

I beg you my dear killer: don’t
Ignore them. Don’t waste such a thing,
But take and use the tickets. Please
I beg you to go traveling.

- Samih al-Qasim (translated by AZ Foreman)

Image: Sign at Northfield book sale that reads "Sappy Platitudes"

I'm going to take you all on a trip through time. Cast your mind back to 11:30 am on Friday, April 24, 2026.  Now, imagine my family . We are in a former rental car, several decades old, and on the entry ramp to what the locals call 35 E near downtown Saint Paul. Mason and I have just picked up Shawn from work at the Minnesota Historical Scoiety. The energy in the car is high because my family LOVES a good road trip. We are headed down to Northfield, Minnesota for a legendary used book sale. 

Per usual, I've made a list of places along the way largely garnered from America's Roadside Attractions. I'm particularly keened to see Hot Sam's Big Weird Junk (https://www.hotsamsantiques.com/). Unfortunately, when we make the pull off, we discover they're not officially open for the season yet. We see enough ot fhe place, however, that we decide that we're definitely going to try to make it back this way again soon.  We're thinking about a special trip, just for it.

We have a bit of lunch at Ole Store Restaurant (https://www.olestorerestaurant.com/). I somewhat foolishly try the beet rueben, which is OKAY, but I probably actually wanted a regular rueben. But Shawn enjoys their turkey salad club and Mason has an amazing looking pork schiztle sandwich. The booksale is exactly as increible as promised. 

Hours are spent browsing books.  The book sale filled a hockey arena. Shawn said that she heard that they had over 70,000 books. We, ourselves, brought home a trunk full of books.


Image with sign reading: Special Curated Collection " I thought I wanted this but I changed my mind."

We took a different route home, one which took us past a place Roadside America only labels as "quirky metal sculptures." This spot was just of Hwy 52 near Coates, MN. The only place to park was right next to a truck refueling place (?) We were in the shadow of the refinery for those who know this area.  

I've described the sculptures to people as: "Chainsaw art meets metal welding." Mostly, the subject matters are reminiscent of chainsaw art, the metal is... well, what it is.



Image: a rooster sculpture outside of Coates, MN


Image: "death cycle" (if you look closely you'll see the flaming skull motif)

There were dozens more, but all in this same vein. Worth the detour? I'm not sure the rest of my family thought so, but I'm always up for random weird sculptures in the middle of nowhere.

An incredibly beautiful book and a very faithful adaptation. Much of the language is word-for-word from the book. I would happily hang most panels on my wall.

A number of sequences are completely wordless, and while very beautiful I don't think I would have understood what was going on in all of them if I hadn't already read the book. There's also a lot of panels which are extremely dark, so much so that it's hard to tell what's happening. Most of these are indoors. I know there's no electricity but in most of these there is magelight!

Also, the otak is the size of a mouse and looks very much like a mouse. That is too small - in the book it catches a mouse and brings it to Ged, and other people tease Ged that it's a rat or a dog. I pictured it the size of a kitten or squirrel, and looking somewhat like a stockier weasel, or a small wolverine or marten. Definitely not a mouse!

It's always interesting to see other people's visualizations of books. The dragon of Pendor is seen mostly through a thick fog, all glowing eyes and fiery breath and insinuation. The flying creatures that pursue Ged and Serret from the Court of the Terrenon are not monstrous pterodactyls, as I always imagined them, but hideous living gargoyles.

I highly recommend this to anyone who's already read the novel, but I don't suggest reading it instead of or before the novel.

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I am back! I haven't really had a chance to catch up here yet, but here's my vacation read, for starters.

This stand-alone fantasy novel has a classic plot: A young soldier-prince hurries back from the front to inherit rulership from his dying father, only to find when he arrives at the capital that his uncle has usurped him. What makes the book stand out are the vivid characters and immersive worldbuilding—features that did not surprise me, having read and loved Leckie's science fiction for much the same reasons.

In the world of the book there are beings called gods, but their powers are subject to the laws of nature. They have to be careful what they try to will into existence, because if effecting it requires too much energy or creates a paradox, it can hurt or kill them, and if they don't understand the underlying principles of how something works they may not be able to do it at all. The gods have their own goals and internal politics, which humans often don't understand. I really liked how the consequences were worked out, with a mix of human beliefs about the gods—some accurate, some overcomplicated or oversimplified, and some fanciful wishful thinking. Even when it is actually possible to speak to the gods, some people will still only hear what they want to hear.

On the human side of the story, the themes struck me as thoroughly Shakespearean. The prince versus the conniving uncle, certainly, and more generally the impact of fatal character flaws and the focus on emotionally intimate relationships shaped by tricky power dynamics. The focal human character is not the prince Mawat, but his loyal retainer Eolo, a farmer's son turned soldier whose steadiness and observational skills are a balance to Mawat, who is smart but often lets his temper overrule his logic. When Mawat is being irrational, other characters beg Eolo to step in because Mawat will listen to him—except he doesn't always, and there is only so much Eolo can do within the bounds of hierarchy.

Eolo is also a trans man, which is a lens through which we learn a lot about how this world deals with people who fall outside social norms. I loved how this was handled. Different places have different attitudes toward queer people, and it's not a one-to-one mapping to real life views or a didactic take where the more queer-friendly folk are perfect "good guys". (None of the book's cultures are all good or all bad. They all have systemic problems and both admirable and ill-intentioned people in them.) Eolo's experiences and self-perceptions are grounded in the world he lives in. He's not an out-of-place transplant from our own world or an excuse to lecture to the reader. On the contrary, the book assumes the reader is savvy enough to pick up on nuanced points about gender and trans experiences without having them spelled out, and it's so refreshing.

The narrative is from the perspective of a god who uses second person to refer to Eolo as it observes his actions. This could be a barrier for some readers who are put off by long stretches of second person, but I found it very appropriate and not a distraction.

I would love it if Leckie wrote more novels in this world. I think she has some stories set in it, but I haven't gotten around to reading her short story collection yet.

I've been working on a few personal essay-type posts, and honestly? Writing personal essays is hard! I'm good at yapping out of the blue like that, blogging in a more journal capacity, but writing essays is a whole different thing! I have multiple ideas that all relate together that I'm trying to put together in some kind of narrative that pleases me, and it's not easy at all! I already had the utmost respect for creative non-fiction writers, I love reading their essays, but writing them is a whole different thing!

I got two working titles in development right now: "Basic White Girl Lore" and "AI Witchhunt". Will they be good? Not sure yet, but I'm enjoying writing them. I've written a lot of essays at Uni, but it's different to write something with a lot of research and citations and writing something that is just... well, personal! More of an opinion piece/autobiography than an actual paper. It does help that, if I ever am mentioning something in my essays, I can just link them in the post itself, no need for MLA formatting at the end (I do enjoy that part of writing essays too, but I don't think it reads as well in a blog post).

So ya, lots of writing going on, and a lot of it is just rewriting and editing. I think Basic White Girl is most likely to be the first one out. It's basically (ha) a retrospective of my personal enjoyment of pop culture since being a teen, and figuring out how to start the essay has been the hardest in this case. That and figuring out how to properly convey both feelings and facts that have impacted how I view pop culture now compared to before.

Writing skills are a really interesting thing to develop. The words are all there, it looks like it should be much easier than it is, just a question of learning how to arrange them a certain way and boom, voila, something good gets out. But it's not. And it's so hard to even convey feelings about writing without regurgitating what other people have already written or said about it before. Every writer does say that writing is hard, writing takes time, etc, but the ways it's hard and the ways it takes time are so different for every writer that it's almost impossible to truly understand until you experience it yourself. What is hard for me is like a breeze to someone else but they struggle where I don't. I think I'm pretty good at maintaining a good flow in my writing, it's something I've been told a few times before too. But I do struggle with run-on sentences (French sentences can go forever, it's a cultural thing XD). If I don't consciously think about it, I will rarely think of using a period as punctuation. Semi-colon and parentheses, my beloved. To the end of my Uni years, anytime a teacher would give me back my essays, it was always with at least one run-on sentence comment. I don't think that will ever change. Maybe it's a glimpse into my writing voice?

In any case, I'll go back to my essays now and see what comes of them.