Matthew's Journal

Make sure one doesn't get into situations where there's no parachute if things go wrong? Not sure how one avoids that, or goes about creating parachutes if one doesn't have one, though :-/ Lack of parachute is currently causing me huge amounts of stress; even though I'm not sure that I'm going to need one, I need that knowledge that there is one.

I don't suppose my feelings about suicide, or the value of my continued existence, are very common though, as I can often regard it quite dispassionately. Which is why I might well say "if X, then I'll kill myself" – there are some situations which, should they materialise, I wouldn't want to live through. This is a fact, although I can see how it can be read as a manipulation. I don't know whether it would be better or worse not to provide someone with the information, as I can't tell how wedded they are to the course of action that might cause such a situation. If there's a chance that they're fairly noncomittal or wishy-washy about it, I think they deserve the information; unfortunately one can't assign probabilities to people's emotions/feelings so sometimes one takes a chance and gets it wrong.