...does what it says on the tin. Suicide : comments.
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![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
I think you're right there. Mental illness has a huge stigma attached to it and there are people (including many Christians) who say bloody stupid things about them (especially depressive illnesses). Suicide is not discussed and that can be a vicious circle because pepole don't know what to say/do if someone does tell them of suicidal feelings. For those of us lucky enough not to have experience them, they can be very hard to comprehend. And that means people can say stupid insensitive things because they can't cope. Are there resources available to help people understand such things? I should try the Samaritans website as a starting point I guess. Indeed, they have Information Sheets
(no subject)
(no subject)
More seriously, supporting someone that is suicidal can be a huge strain on family and friends - and Samaritans are happy to receive calls from family and friends, to support them too. They don't provide easy answers, but sometimes it's necessary for loved ones to have a place where they can 'ring out their sponges' - a place where you can talk in confidence about how a suicidal friend is making you feel; the concerns you have.
TBH, I don't think there can ever be a definitive set of resources to tell you how to support someone that is suicidal - in the same way that without a medical degree, you couldn't give someone a three page guide to 'how to be a doctor'. After all, we're all individuals - one size doesn't fit all. But that's not to say that the rest of us don't have an important part to play.
From my experience, the most important things one can do is to be there, and to make sure that the suicidal person knows that without doubt. And yes, it'll probably try your patience, because they may not be able to accept it on trust... You know you've told them you're there for them, but they may not believe you for a very very long time.
I'm interested to see how many people seem to believe that others believe they have simply 'called wolf too often'... And it strikes me that a huge number of the comments here eventually come down to the question of trust - that if you're suicidal, it can be very very difficult to trust anything anyone else says. As a few people have commented, being suicidal can be hugely isolating, and maybe that's one of the areas we can all address. As for someone who is bedbound through physical illness, friends and family are needed for company, for reassurance, to help them know that they are loved, even if they can't take away the pain of the situation. It may leave you feeling helpless, but that sort of support has certainly helped me.
Perhaps we can best help people by asking them 'how?'!
Regarding resources to help you understand - firstly, don't expect to be able to 'understand'. Saying "I understand how you feel" is a very risky thing to say, because you almost certainly don't - you don't know what makes their hell hell, and they probably know that. That aside, if you want to read something, Gilbert (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Depression-Paul-Gilbert/dp/1841191256) is certainly very insightful, and I'd highly recommend it.
(no subject)
I've been thinking about this, together with this (http://arnhem.livejournal.com/275970.html) comment of
Maybe this is the time when we're most accutely condemned of 'crying wolf' - symptomatic of a huge loss of trust and a breakdown in communication.
Can anyone reflect on ways we might stay on (or get back to) the right side of the line?
(no subject)
I don't suppose my feelings about suicide, or the value of my continued existence, are very common though, as I can often regard it quite dispassionately. Which is why I might well say "if X, then I'll kill myself" – there are some situations which, should they materialise, I wouldn't want to live through. This is a fact, although I can see how it can be read as a manipulation. I don't know whether it would be better or worse not to provide someone with the information, as I can't tell how wedded they are to the course of action that might cause such a situation. If there's a chance that they're fairly noncomittal or wishy-washy about it, I think they deserve the information; unfortunately one can't assign probabilities to people's emotions/feelings so sometimes one takes a chance and gets it wrong.