Matthew's Journal

To the non-expert that makes it sound like one leg's longer than the other or else that it's bum's sticking up in the air, :). I guess in-soles aren't an option for masitfs, :).

*hugs* It can depend how much you feel like that and why. If you're not keeping in touch at all when you're apart it might not be a very good sign and you might want to work out what to do to sort things out now, before it gets too difficult. But if you are still talking by mail or phone or letter then there's nothing to say it can't work, and nothing to say it has to go on like it is forever. It was nearly a year after I started seeing Richard seriously before we were living in the same town as each other, and it felt a bit like a part-time relationship then at times, but it's worked out pretty well in the long run.

Hmm - I know what you mean. However I've also realised recently that a lot of us tend to rush headfirst into relationships. Just because circumstances make you take it slowly isn't necessarily a bad thing. I actually think it's a positive and with me it certainly is the first time I've managed to go slow. Takes a bit of getting used to and having confidence in yourself and in the relationship. I think enjoying the time you get to yourself and going slowly into the relationship makes you less likely to fall into co-dependency.

Does feeling like you've got a "weekends only" or "part-time" SO mean anything to anyone?

Oh yes. Been there. It can work, it can work really well. Or that feeling can be the start of the end.

It totally depends on how you both feel about the situation, and hence you need to know how you each feel, hence you need to talk about it and be utterly honest about how you feel, and what you want out of the relationship.

This kind of relationship can work perfectly fine if you're both happy with the amount of time you see each other, what you do in that time, and how much you let each other into your lives the rest of the week, including how much you contact each other.

If there is some imbalance, e.g. one of you is waiting for the time in the future when you can be together more often, whilst the other is happy and not expecting changes, then there's a problem. If one of you is happy speaking just a couple of times during the week, and the other actually wants a nightly 30 minute phone call, then there's a problem. If one of you is miffed that when apart, the other goes out and spends time with friends, sometimes deciding to do this when they could actually make the effort to see the SO, then there's a problem.

Sometimes you find out you're hoping for different things, but can find a compromise and it works out ok. Sometimes a compromise can't be found.

I truely hope you find you're happy with however it all turns out.

*hugs* Let me know if you'd like to me ramble on more, less coherently, about the above...